Women lie
Men lie
Women lie
Men lie
Women lie
Men lie

Numbers don't lie

I am gonna call it white death.
I am making it with a pepper from the middle east called the bhut jalokia i think is how it is spelled.
it is the hottest pepper in the world.
several thousand times hotter then a habenero.

I like dogs

You like cats

I like loud cars

You like big cars

I Love Red

You hate red

I like attention

You try to avoid it

I like being with you

You like being Gay

I love you

You love not being alone

I Wanna throw a party

You tell me thats stupid

I wanna be a cook

You mention money

I wanna you to be happy

You want you to be happy

I do shit for you you dont even realize

You dont even realize how little you do for me

I like being with you

You love throwing in my face how people like you

You dont say no im taken

I just wish you would tell me you dont care anymore so i can move on

Planning a large party,
Hopefully it goes according to plan,
Actually i just hope it goes well,
Wanna Try and have a few bands

This is gonna be the best and biggest party of the year
I just need to get a good name lol
so far i have an amazing idea
just now to figure out how to make it possible

idk what to write
its 3:35 am and i cant sleep
i am just happy that i don't work in the morning

Tatto
It hurt but was worth it
4 hours of
torture
Felt like
Like
I am about to die
But
Its something i am proud of
its pretty
its perfect
well almost
http://dailybooth.com/QmarcesQ/4068537
She loves it
I love it
And for that it was all worth it
The hour of the needle running over
my spine hitting bone
over
and over
again
and again
The never getting poked
the backside of my arm hurtin
even though nothing was near it
Its weird
I was in shock but all i could think
was
I
Want
Another

I don't wanna be a tiger
Cause tigers play too rough
I don't wanna be a lion
'Cause lions ain't the kind
you love enough.
Just wanna be, your Teddy Bear
Put a chain around my neck
and lead me anywhere
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

Baby let me be, around you every night
Run your fingers through my hair,
And cuddle me real tight

Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

fuck

best friends

liars

cheaters

time wasters

and heart breakers

you

All that I have to give to you is all my time

Sometimes im right

and sometimes

im more right 

then i thought

Fucking weird
I woke up today happy?
Happy
yes its true
idk
i love medicine
actually no
it was all me this time
:)

Got an appointment on Friday at 7 to get some ink done
I decided on a Om Mani Padme Hum lotus tattoo on my back
Just done in basic black for now.

I am nervous
But a little disappointed I didn't get it today.
OK really disappointed


Im going to bed, I havent eaten anything but a roll all day
I wanna eat but im depressed
                                         Looking at food makes it worse
                           I just dont fucking care anymore
This cloud thats been over my head for the past few months has finally decended
                  I dont care
                                   I wanna care
                                                     I try to care
                 It hurts to care
                                                                        and im tired of hurting
                           I... I... I...
I thought about dying the other day
                     It seems a peaceful thought
                                                                                 Just its
                                                                 its just not quite my time yet you know?

I still got shit to do

How can I say i don't care when i obviously do.
I care about this i care about that,
I care about her most of all but
but I don't,,,
,,,I don't feel it back
From anyone

                   From anything

I don't feel like anyone or anything 

                                                                                        Honestly cares about me 

anymore  
Nothing i do brings me satisfaction anymore

I haven't in quite a while
Idk how to tell her this
Idk how to tell myself this.
I am just so tired of these feelings
everything used to be good with
green grass and blue skies
now its the green of promethazine and the blue of ambien
I cant sleep sober anymore.
Not even with her
that used to be the cure all
now....
ha!
now im just that guy thats there.
I never get the happy greetings
the running hug
or fuck
any real hug at all most of the time.

shit i know that shouldnt bother me cause that
         "Was just a phase"
          and were past it but still it hurts
          I don't like change
          I miss the old us
Actually I just miss the happy me
                                   and her being happy for me

People ask why i try so hard for her
and do all that
in reality it was because it used to
    make me happy
now i just end up feeling used
by everything and everyone

If there was some magic cure 

I need it now more then ever

I need you now more then ever

You think im selfish

im sorry

you think im paranoid

im sorry

you think all this shit

im sorry

Im fucking depressed 

and cant help it

I just want a little light in my tunnel

and anytime i try i get slapped back down.

im not selfish

stupid maybe

yes even a little crazy

i just cant get my shit straight

even this wont come out right.

I need to talk to people but i cant

when i think about it it makes me sick

I just miss me

I miss you

I miss not being 

so easily bothered

When you look at me at night 

and ask me whats wrong

This is whats wrong

I wanted to tell you in person

But i cant 

i dont know how

this is hard enough.

Life is hard enough

I just want to be happy again.
I just wanna make you happy again

actually I just want you happy again

Der Tod hat nie schien süßer

Is this what you want
'Cause everybody acts without a clue
Every little kiss and grin you gave
Was just a little bullshit I saw through

Are you out of your mind
You dug yourself into a liar's hole
You made a little spark to live inside
It's now a fucking fire out of control
When the morning comes you'll act surprised
And when the word gets out it will get old
And every day you'll try to live your life
And every little scandal will unfold

How did I let her inside
We're dripping of sweat and feeling alright
Her lips were the last thing touched tonight
Your best friend is not your girlfriend

What does
Lets just start over
Mean
Fuck I dont need this
I just want her back

New hair new begining?
Idk something arent meant to last forever
And then some are
the problem in life is finding out which is which

As confusing as it is there are those you know
That you can just feel
deep inside
that they will last

That they will go the distance.

     Have you ever heard of the madman who on a bright morning lighted a lantern and ran to the market-place calling out unceasingly: "I seek God! I seek God!"

     As there were many people standing about who did not believe in God, he caused a great deal of amusement.

     Why! is he lost? said one.

     Has he strayed away like a child? said another. 

     Or does he keep himself hidden? 

     Is he afraid of us? 

     Has he taken a sea-voyage? 

     Has he emigrated?

     

     the people cried out laughingly, all in a hubbub. The insane man jumped into their midst and transfixed them with his glances.

     "Where is God gone? " he called out. "I mean to tell you! We have killed him,--you and I! We are all his murderers! But how have we done it? How were we able to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the whole horizon? What did we do when we loosened this earth from its sun? Whither does it now move? Whither do we move? Away from all suns? Do we not dash on unceasingly? Backwards, sideways, forewards, in all directions? Is there still an above and below? Do we not stray, as through infinite nothingness? Does not empty space breathe upon us? Has it not become colder? Does not night come on continually, darker and darker? Shall we not have to light lanterns in the morning? Do we not hear the noise of the grave-diggers who are burying God? Do we not smell the divine putrefaction?--

     for even Gods putrefy!

     God is dead! God remains dead! And we have killed him!

     How shall we console ourselves, the most murderous of all murderers? The holiest and the mightiest that the world has hitherto possessed, has bled to death under our knife,

     who will wipe the blood from us? With what water could we cleanse ourselves? What lustrums, what sacred games shall we have to devise? Is not the magnitude of this deed too great for us? Shall we not ourselves have to become Gods, merely to seem worthy of it? 

     There never was a greater event, and on account of it, all who are born after us belong to a higher history than any history hitherto!"

     Here the madman was silent and looked again at his hearers; they also were silent and looked at him in surprise. At last he threw his lantern on the ground, so that it broke in pieces and was extinguished. 

     "I come too early," he then said, "I am not yet at the right time. This prodigious event is still on its way, and is traveling, it has not yet reached men's ears. Lightning and thunder need time, the light of the stars needs time, deeds need time, even after they are done, to be seen and heard. 

     This deed is as yet further from them than the furthest star,

and yet they have done it!"

     It is further stated that the madman made his way into different churches on the same day, and there intoned his Requiem aeternam deo. 

     When led out and called to account, he always gave the reply: 

"What are these churches now, if they are not the tombs and monuments of God?"

Life can be funny

I tell myself, or rather the whole world,

 I don't need anyone but me.

But more and more every day

Minute by minute i find myself more helpless

Im so desperate for you

It scares me

I haven't needed anyone before

and now i need you more then ever

seconds with you feel like heaven

I cherish those moments

I wish i could explain

its hard to admit

how hard i try to be a man

I want to do things right

you say I am enough

I want to be more

I want to be everything

I mess up alot but you dont seem to notice

But at the end of it all i just think to myself I lay awake trying to figure out what you see in me

I don't get it and probably never will

I have one explaination

and that would be

Oh, this is love.
True love

Mix track library

Bitch Ass Trick - Original Version

Cockney Thug

Cockney Thug

Cockney Thug [Buraka Som Sistema RMX]

Cockney Violin

Come Fly Away Feat. Channing

Counterstrike The Mp3

The Creeps (Get On The Dancefloor) (Vandalism Vocal Mix)

Daddy's Groove & Little Mark - Satisfaction (Vocal Mix)

Dark Beat (Deadmau5 Vocal Remix)

Dj H gz - Le remix (settler project)

DJ Lbr - Put Your Hands Together (DJ Dirty Electro & DJ Imix Vocal Mix)

Dj MorrXoW - Basshunter Russian Privjet [2nd] [morrXow remix]

Dj MorrXoW - Settler Project - Le [morrXow remix]

Dj Sebban - Settler Project

Dum da dum

E (Without Me) - David Jones Mix

Eins, Zwei, Polizei

Everybodys free

Eye Of The Tiger (Alex Gap Meets Groove Bandits Remix)

F__k The DJ (Radio Mix)

Foes (16bit Fuck Hoes Remix)

Fun House

Ghosts n Stuff (feat. Rob Swire)

Go Tell Them

Hard to say im sorry

Hesitate (Ian Carey Vocal Mix)

Hi Friend Feat Mc Flipside (Vocal Mix)

Hit My Stix - Vocal Club Mix

I dont know music

I Remember (Original Vocal Mix)

I Remember (Vocal Mix)

I Remember Feat Kaskade (Instrumental Mix)

In & Out Of Love (Richard Durand No Vocal Remix)

In My Memory (Gabriel & Dresden Elephant Memory Vocal)

It Was Written (Chasing Shadows Remix)

Keep on Rising (Acapella)

Kiss Me (BassRockers Remix)

Love

Love and Happiness Yemaya Y Ochun (Vocal mix)

Mad House (Dead Money Mix)

Markus Enochson (with Masaya) - For You To See (Tiger Stripes Vocal Remix)

A Millie (Remix)

Moar Ghosts N Whatever

Moby - Extreme Ways (DJ Tiesto's Vocal Remix) - 06

Natural High (Out Of Office Full Vocal Mix)

Now Youre Gone (Dazoo At Night Remix)

Open Your Eyes

Pump Up the Jam

The Reward Is Cheese

The Reward Is Cheese (JK Remix)

Russian Lullaby

Sandstorm 2009 (Club Mix)

Shut Up

Someone (Original Vocal Mix)

Take Me Away (Reward Vocal Remix)

Technologic [Radio Edit]

To Forever (Deadmau5 Vocal Mix)

Trippin (Thomas Gold Full Vocal Mix)

Welcome To Rainbow (Hardstyle Remix)

Welcome To Rainbow (Original Mix)

Well 'Ard

What Its About - Original Mix

When I Look At You

World Is Mine 2008 (dj Walus Remix)

World Is Mine 2009 (Baggio Electro Mix!)

03. Carbon Based Lifeforms - Photosynthesis

It hurts sometimes
Trying to get inside
Is like trying to empty the ocean
with a teacup

I opened up for you
and didn't receive it in turn

I did this for you
and you cant do it for me

I try to close
but I cant

Believe me if I could
I would close up for good.

Well I am hoping to have a ten song cd put together.
The first song I took A CBL song and threw some filters and beat mashing. Nothing too ground breaking but it works surprisingly well. Still I am not happy with it I want to go back and redo something I just don't know what exactly.
Anyways its a chill start to the CD, Maybe its a sign that I am gonna end up doing house music. Who knows..

I wanted to write a poem.

But now I dont feel like it.

I found some I wrote years ago maybe I will type it up.